Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Thr truth shall set you free...

"You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free" has always been one of my favorite quotes---one I memorized loooong before I understood what it meant. I've since learned that you can't know the truth until you're willing to know yourself--and vice versa. Knowing yourself is a lifelong process, with your biggest lessons often emerging from your biggest mistakes.

My biggest mistakes in life have all stemmed from giving my power to someone else--believing that the love others had to offer was more important than the love I had to give to myself. I remember being around 21 years old, and in a relationship based on lies and deceit, down on my knees crying after this guy (some of you know who I mean) walked out on me, for the umpteenth time. As I huddled on the floor, the powerful words that I had memorized throughout my life seemed to almost taunt me. I realized that I don't know a thing about the truth, but I knew I had to make it my business to find out. WHY was I allowing myself to be treated this way?!?!?

It still took me another year or two to finally leave the idiot. I guess I kept hoping and praying things would get better, that he would change. I was always doing things to make HIM feel special. None of it worked, so I started praying for the strength to just end it. I'd pray and wait to feel better....and wait.....and wait. All the while repeating my same old patterns. Until one day I got it. I knew the truth was that while I was waiting on God, God was waiting on me. He was waiting on me to make a decision to either pursue the life that was meant for me or to be stifled by the one I was living. I realized that I am alright just as I am. I am enough all by myself. If I had stayed entangled in that relationship, my life as I know it would never have happened.

What's the truth of your life? It's your duty to know. The truth is that which feels right and good and loving. (Love doesn't hurt. It feels really good.) It's that which allows you to live every day with integrity. Everything you do and say shows the world who you really are.

;NEW BEGINNINGS Pictures, Images and Photos

The following is an exerpt from a book. I can't remember what book I got this excerpt from...or if it was even a book...who knows...I just like what it said:

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbor, teacher, fraternal brother or sister, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger), but when you lock eyes with them, you know that at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.
And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.
Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without the small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.
The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things. Make every day count.
Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you. You can make your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets. Most importantly, if you love someone tell them, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store. And finally, enjoy looking forward to learning a new lesson each day and enjoying the journey.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

People in today's society...grrrr

There is something everyone needs to know about Stupid People. You can take a stupid person and educated him ... and educated him ... and educate him. You can educate the HELL out of a stupid person and he will still be stupid. See, it's not about education or IQ scores. We have all known a lot of educated people who still say and do stupid things. Matter of fact, they hang on to their stupidity with both hands. It's amazing how determined some people are to stay stupid. Why is that? Well, let's think about it for a moment. Once their stupidity is gone, what is left? Responsibility.

Scary stuff, responsibility is. Suddenly, these people have to be accountable for their words and actions. Without their stupidity to hide behind, these people have to pay attention! They have to take other people's feelings and rights into consideration. They have to actually put thought into what they are about to say or do. They have to make amends when they mess up.

Well, that's no good, is it? It is extremely inconvenient to have to stop and think about right from wrong. It eats up a lot of time and energy to consider how Joe or Bill or Mary might react about something. It does not feel nice to say, "I'm sorry" to someone you have hurt. It is easier to just go scrambling through life like a runaway mule, keeping the blinders on, so they don't see who they have hurt around them or the damage left in their wake.

What's worse is that when a stupid person does something stupid, the people around him tend to say, "Aw, heck. He can't help it. He's stupid." No one holds a stupid person accountable for their words or actions, because their stupidity is expected (and because of that, it continues). But, people are not runaway mules. They should not be allowed to run willy-nilly through life. Stupidity is not a backstage pass to the Concert of Consideration.

Stupidity is a social disease and, like all diseases, it is every body's responsibility to make sure it does not spread to infect everyone else. Instead of excusing stupidity when it happens, we each have the right and duty to call a person on it. It is simple self-defense! By setting boundaries, we force Stupid People to wake up and own up. By insisting that Stupid People give up their flimsy shields of "Didn't Know Any Better" and "Can't Help Themselves" we help them become Smart People.

... Wouldn't it be nice to live in a world with fewer Stupid People and more Smart People?

Monday, April 13, 2009

Let them Go!

This is just an excerpt from the Reverend T.D. Jakes. I had it up on another blog, and everyone loved it. Seems that there are a lot of people out there that need this lesson in life...including here it is:

Let it go for 2006 (by T.D. Jakes)

There are people who can walk away from you.

And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.

I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.


And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of goodbye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in goodbye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.


If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to...


If you are holding on to past hurts and pains...


If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...


If someone has angered you...


If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge...


If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction...


If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents...


If you have a bad attitude...


If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...


If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship.......


If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves...


If you're feeling depressed and stressed...


Get Right or Get Left, think about it, and then...


Monday, April 6, 2009

Let it burn baby!!

I'll never forget the other morning. I found myself barely able to drag my butt out of bed, depressed about my life and where I am at with it. I called a friend up to vent, and asked her, "Why does every step have to be so difficult for me?" Without missing a beat, she met my question with another: "Why do you look at it as a struggle? Life is going to be harder some days than others, but on any given day, "Life" gives you what it has--and you just have to do the best you can with that."

Use what you have to move toward your best--so, that's how I try to live my life. I realize now that no matter where you stand right now--on a hilltop, in a gutter, at a crossroads, in a rut--you need to give yourself the best you have to offer in this moment. This is it. Rather than depleting yourself with judgments about what you haven't done, who you could have become, why you haven't moved faster, or what you should have changed, redirect that energy toward the next big push--the one that takes you from good enough to better. The one that takes you from adequate to extraordinary. The one that helps you rise up from a low moment and reach for your personal best.

I believe we discover our destinies in the smallest ways--in a fascination with words, in the thrill a child's laughter evokes, and even in a familiar song we keep humming. If you pay attention to these cues--to the times you've felt most joyous, most fully engaged, most connected with yourself and others--you'll always be guided to the next best place.

I believe that every person in the world has a purpose for being here--a calling. The work of your life is to discover that purpose and get on with the business of living it out. The only courage you need is the courage to find and follow your passion. So, try to ask yourself these questions: Does what you're doing now feel right? Does it fill you up or leave you drained? Forget what everyone else wants for you. This is not your mother's, father's, boyfriend's, husband's, children's or your best friend's journey. Your role is NOT just as your husband's wife, your boss's employee, or your children's mother. You, and ONLY YOU, were there for all the significant moments that hold the clues to your calling.

There's an old gospel song with a refrain I love: "I can feel the fire shut up in my bones." We were all born with this fire, but beginning in childhood, we let others snuff it out. Passion is the log that keeps the fire of purpose blazing. Your work now is to find that fire and rekindle it--and then.....let it burn baby!!

Sunday, March 29, 2009


I tend to think that your breath is actually your anchor, the gift we've all been given to center ourselves in this very moment. Whenever something happens that involves even the slightest tension (which is almost an everyday occurrence lately), I stop, draw in a deep breath, and release. I don't know how many times I have stopped my friends, halfway through one of their "venting sessions" and force them to stop, breath in deeply, and release!! LOL

Have you ever noticed how often you unconsciously hold your breath?? Once you start paying attention, it might surprise you to see how much tension you've been carrying around inside. Nothing is more effective than a deep, slow inhale and release, for surrendering what you can't control and focusing again on what's right in front of you.


None of us is built to run nonstop. That's why, when you don't give yourself the time and care you need, your body rebels in the form of sickness and exhaustion. How do you give back to yourself? Talk things out with a best friend (Dr. Phyllis is in the office...just a phone call away!! LOL). Soak in a hot bath and enjoy at least one lit candle. It may sound hokey, but focusing on a burning candle for a minute, while taking deep and relaxing breaths is actually very calming ( if you do this when the kids, hubby, or boyfriend is asleep and not wanting anything from you).

At the end of the day, I like to "come down" by reading, or just sitting by's what I call going mindless (don't even go there!!! LOLOL). But, it's's my way of just letting go of everything that weighed on my shoulders that day. Or I put in an old movie or TV show I have on DVD...and just forget the world around me for a little while.

CANDLE Pictures, Images and Photos

You have to nurture yourself so you'll have more nurturing to give to those who most need you. It's like the oxygen-mask theory: If you don't put on your mask first, you won't be able to save anyone else.

So stop. Go "mindless". Breathe in......and.....let goooooooooooo. Say it....gooooooose-fraaaaabbaaaaaaaaaaaa. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.

See? Don't you feel a little more relaxed?!?!? I'll bill ya, don't worry!! LOLOL

rachaelleanna photography

Friday, March 27, 2009

You Just Stand

During difficult times, I sometimes turn to a song called "Stand". Donnie McClurkin sings it, and part of it goes like this: "What do you do when you've done all you can, and it seems like it's never enough? What do you give when you've given your all, and it seems like you can't make it through?" The answer lies in the simple refrain: "You just stand."

That's where strength seems to come from--our ability to stand up, face resistance, and walk through it. It's not that people with the courage to persevere (good word!) don't ever feel doubt, fear, and exhaustion. They do. But in those toughest moments, we can have the faith that if we take just one step more than we feel we're capable of, if we draw on the incredible resolve every human being possesses, we'll learn some of the most profound lessons life has to offer.

I do know that there is no strength without challenge, adversity, resistance, and often pain. The problems that make you want to throw your hands up and holler "Mercy!" will build your tenacity, courage, discipline, and determination.

I once read a book by Eleanor Roosevelt (awesome woman!!) called, "You learn by living." One of my many favorite quotes in that book is, "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face, and are able to say to yourself, I lived through this horror....I can take the next thing that comes must do the thing you think you cannot do."

Every challenge we take on has the power to shake us--to knock us to our knees. And yet, what's even more disturbing than the jolt itself, is our fear that we won't withstand it. When we feel the ground beneath us shifting, we panic. We forget everything that we know and allow fear to freeze us. Just the thought of what could happen is enough to throw us off balance.

I think the only way to endure the "quake" is to adjust your stance. You can't avoid the daily tremors. They come with being alive. These experiences are really gifts that force us to step to the right or left in search of a new center of gravity. Don't fight them. Just find a different way to stand.

Balance lives in the present. The surest way to lose your footing is to focus on what dreadful things might happen. When you feel the earth moving, bring yourself back to the now. You'll handle whatever shake-up the next moment brings when you get to it. In this moment, you've found a new place to move your feet so you can step onto higher ground.

As you walk into what you fear, know that you already have the enduring power you're asking for--then say thank you, because you understand that your deepest struggle will produce your greatest strength. And what do you do in that moment, when you feel like you can't make it through? You just stand.

Stand - Donnie McClurkin

Thursday, March 26, 2009

I hope you Dance

There is a song by LeeAnn Womack called "I hope you dance". I love to listen to that song. It reminds me that every day brings a chance for me to draw in a breath, kick off my shoes, and step out and dance--to live free of regret and filled with as much joy, fun and laughter as I can stand.
You can either waltz boldly onto the floor of life and live the way you know your spirit is nudging you to, or you can sit quietly by the wall, receding in the shadows of fear and self-doubt. You have the choice this very moment--the only moment you have for certain. Are you dancing in the light or fading in the dark? If your life ended tomorrow, what would you regret not doing? If this were the last day of your life, would you spend it the way you're spending today?? When was the last time you laughed with a friend till your sides hurt?
I once read a quote that caught my attention. It said, "He who dies with the most toys is still dead." Anyone who has ever come close to death can tell you that at the end of your life, you probably won't be reminiscing about how many all nighters you pulled at work or how much your mutual fund is worth. The thoughts that linger are the "if only" questions, like who could I have become if I had finally done the things I always wanted to do? The gift of deciding to face your mortality without turning away or flinching is the gift of recognizing that because you will die, you MUST live now. Whether you flounder or flourish is always in your hands--you are the single biggest influence in your life.
And your journey begins with a choice to get up, step out, and live fully. I hope you don't get so wrapped up in nonessential stuff that you forget to really enjoy yourself--because this moment is about to be over. I hope you'll look back and remember this as the time when you decided to make every one of your moments count, to relish each day as if there would never be another. And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.

I Hope You Dance - Lee Ann Womack